What he'd 'just been through', and years of less overt dismissals of his own consent, made him only more wary [say it: afraid] of himself ever inflicting the like on someone else. Even asking made him worried that saying such words aloud was imposing pressure, and he wouldn't act without asking.
With Liana… who he didn't know… all he really knew was that she could kick his ass if she needed to (even were he stone cold sober) but he would never want her to need to… and, even if her motive ultimately proved different than advertised, right now she was choosing to be kind…
He found himself… wanting… needing?…
If he weren't drugged, would he have been able to refrain?
Would that be better?
But after a while, just lying and breathing together—and finding that in of itself more restful than he'd felt for a long, long while—he risked wrecking it by murmuring aloud, "When I fall asleep again…" (and amazing enough to be able to say 'when') "…if I try anything—putting an arm around you—anything you don't want… my stomach's really ticklish. Will wake me right up. Or make me back off even if not."
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Date: 2019-09-12 12:57 pm (UTC)With Liana… who he didn't know… all he really knew was that she could kick his ass if she needed to (even were he stone cold sober) but he would never want her to need to… and, even if her motive ultimately proved different than advertised, right now she was choosing to be kind…
He found himself… wanting… needing?…
If he weren't drugged, would he have been able to refrain?
Would that be better?
But after a while, just lying and breathing together—and finding that in of itself more restful than he'd felt for a long, long while—he risked wrecking it by murmuring aloud, "When I fall asleep again…" (and amazing enough to be able to say 'when') "…if I try anything—putting an arm around you—anything you don't want… my stomach's really ticklish. Will wake me right up. Or make me back off even if not."