She felt nervous, excited, but most of all, she wanted the experience of sharing a kiss. She held no other expectations otherwise. Still, she wasn't expecting the soft touch of fingertips to skin, but it pulled a sigh from her lips, anyway, muffled in the instant that their mouths met.

The kiss didn't feel strained or forced or even the least bit awkward at all. Jyn was surprised at how easily it all fell into place, how it didn't take much part on her part to return it -

And to keep it going after the initial contact. It wasn't desperate, neither attempted to take more than was being offered. It felt meaningful in a way that she couldn't quite pinpoint.

If they took it further, or went back, or continued with just this, she would welcome any or all.

If Jyn had her way, this moment in time would never have to come to an end. They could just exist in it - safe and warm and together, lost in each other and how bittersweet it felt to give of themselves freely, without any ulterior motives guiding their actions.

She sighed and shivered as his touch drifted from cheek to neck, his fingers tangling gently in her hair. Blindly, she reached up to brush her thumb along one cheekbone, the touch soft and gentle in a way that she was surprised to learn she was still capable of offering.

The need to breathe was soon too pressing to ignore, but Jyn had barely made an attempt to catch hers before bridging what little gap there was between them in order to steal another, small but not tentative, little more than a peck at first, not wishing to overwhelm - not only Rilio, but herself, too.

"You're so lovely", she murmured, her voice hoarse, low, as if she was afraid to disturb the moment too much.

Jyn hadn't even though it through - the words had just left her lips in a moment of the most freedom she had let herself feel in years. But his reaction, his surprised smile, the faint color in his cheeks stole what little breath she had recovered fully away.

She wanted to argue the point, wanted to argue that she was anything but lovely - she was hard and sharp and dangerous, but with difficulty, she swallowed the hards and tentatively leaned in, searching out the solace and comfort and understanding she had found in the kisses they had already shared.

They could - but then their mouths would be engaged in an activity that was not nearly as satisfying as kissing.

And Jyn was finding that she really liked kissing Rilio, being kissed by him in return.

He met her halfway, and Jyn sighed into the kiss, the sounds muffled as this time, there was little tentativeness to be found as they enjoyed each other, moving against each other until they were shifted and settled into a more thorough comfort. One arm slung low around his middle, the other she let map out its own path, up the length of his arm, only lingering momentarily at the back of his neck before allowing her fingers to card through his dark hair, newly washed and oh-so-soft.

For as much as Jyn knew that it wasn't possible, she found herself wanting to live in this moment indefinitely.

As soon as she thought that, she felt him moving away, and she couldn't help a softly disappointed little noise from following in the wake of the kiss coming to an end.

Truthfully ... she wasn't the least bit offended by - or disgusted by the slowly dawning realization of what was happening. It was perfectly natural, wasn't it?

Still, she didn't want to make him uncomfortable by mentioning that, making him feel like he was obligated to do something that he didn't want to do with her.

"It's okay", she replied, her voice just as soft. "Really."

Jyn took the opportunity to try to catch her breath, as well, to regain some of the composure lost in the aftermath of the kisses they've shared - kisses that have left her reeling, left her wanting in a way that she was wholly unaccustomed to. Maybe she needed a moment, too. Still, she was grateful for the way he maintained contact, the soft touches he granted her, hint enough that he was still, for the most part, mostly comfortable with their activities.

She should've probably kept quiet, but before she was able to think the action through, Jyn quietly asked - "How are you feeling?"

Jyn laughed. She couldn't remember the last time that a laugh - a real, true one - left her lips quite so easily. She hadn't just meant his physical reaction, but it was a little difficult to ignore.

Her laugh soon faded into a quiet little sigh, her fingers gentle as she echoed the touch he was still sharing with her, tracing a series of random patterns against his shoulder. "Good. I'm glad."

But moreso, hearing that he felt even an iota of what she was feeling, safe and comfortable and content enough, somehow meant everything to her. "Yeah. Me too."

So it did. And Jyn found herself silently wishing that she never forgot the sight of it, nor how his every touch made her feel - comfortable and content and cared about in a way that was so brand-new it should have scared her.

She wasn't very surprised to hear that he'd given her an alias. And it would make a hypocrite out of her to feel any offense, as she had done exactly the same thing. Any halfway smart person in their situation would have done the same. (Although it did make her heart drop just a touch at the thought that they might never know each other's true identities.

Maybe that was for the best.)

Jyn shrugged gently, her lips twisting into a small but wry smile. "Didn't give you mine, either. Better safe than sorry."

Jyn had wondered for a time whether or not she even retained the capability to not only be tender but to feel human, but in the moment, warm and content, being caressed so gently and looked at with such fondness (as though she was something worthy of such treatment, as if she was delicate and fragile and required being handled so gingerly), her heart started to beat back into life, one painful thump at a time.

She observed Rilio - a pseudonym, she now knew - in much the same way, with much the same regret coloring her thoughts, her own exploration of the lines and planes of his face an attempt to memorize him, memorize how she felt right now. Fingertips traced along the slope of his nose, a whisper of a touch as she mapped the line of his lips.

Jyn still had the capability - but would it be worth the hurt she knew she would face upon their inevitable parting? Right now was a little difficult to concentrate on when she couldn't quite persuade what was yet to occur from causing her worry.

An eyebrow slowly made an arch upward, and her fingers stilled, the only sound in the room their breathing as she considered just what it was that she could offer. Strong opinions. Feelings. What did that mean? About her? Them? Not that there could even be a them, not when it was dangerous to even consider ...

"So ... why don't you tell me your interpretations and I'll tell you if you're right?"

Jyn was silent as she listened - and observed Rilio for any signs of discomfort. She didn't find any more than she did uncertainty, but that was a feeling that she too shared.

She had said as much out loud - she didn't do this, didn't allow people to get close, didn't allow herself to need anyone for anything. And here she was, battered heart aching for more.

"I know - ", she finally replied, and she thought she did understand. Jyn didn't want to sound petulant or disrespectful, or worst of all, like she expected anything from him.

This was enough. It was more than enough! But would going further avoid the very particular pain of what ifs or would it only exacerbate it?

"I want ... to do as much as you want to. Maybe it's selfish and stupid of me, but I want you to remember. And maybe someday, you'll ask or hear about Liana Hallik and you'll find me again."

Maybe.

Maybe not.

But whatever happened, at least they'd have this.