Date: 2019-09-16 05:56 am (UTC)
candor1: (Kafrene . street)
From: [personal profile] candor1
He closed his eyes, rested his head against her hair, drank in the feeling of the patterns she carved on him.

Safe.

The honest answer might be, Never.

…Or was it? When that was, for him more than for many… a choice? Even a goal?

(It could be pointed out that is was also less a choice for him than for others, still. So it was with… everything.)

Either way—whatever his life would be like if he didn't choose this one, better or worse—he chose to walk where others shouldn't have to. Which was rarely safe.

But from this threat, these assailants, she'd saved him. If he ever needed to reengage, he'd have better prep, a better plan, and possibly backup.

"I'll be able to get back to my people," he said softly, at last. "Thanks to you."

It was the best answer he could give. Even if it wasn't one.

Date: 2019-09-16 06:20 am (UTC)
candor1: (Scarif . smile . proud of you)
From: [personal profile] candor1
The kiss he pressed to her this time was just as light, just as gentle, but lasted a whole heartbeat, and brushed the skin of her temple, not just her hair. "Yeah," he murmured in agreement. I know.

His heartbeat faltered a little. The faintest of tensions—apprehension?—ran through him. Though his voice was (practicedly) unchanged when he said quietly, "We're always looking for good people. If you're ever interested in… a job. With a group that tries to work against the ones taking advantage. …I'd certainly vouch for you."

Date: 2019-09-16 06:52 am (UTC)
candor1: (Scarif . smile . do you think . down)
From: [personal profile] candor1
He wasn't sure there was a single, direct interpretation of that. But somewhere in the mix—of a dry but gentle decline—there was, maybe, what he felt too. The wish (the hope) it could actually happen. And the willingness, however unlikely, to live in that hope a little longer.

He tightened his arms around her again, and released again; a hug to indicate her words accepted. The matter closed. "Okay."

Date: 2019-09-18 06:46 am (UTC)
candor1: (Uwing . Eadu . you're coming . down)
From: [personal profile] candor1
He craned his neck, tilted his head down, to look at her—checking in, or mildly surprised. He didn't comment. Only… his hands opened, and though he still refrained from closing his arms on her too tightly, his spread fingers and open palms pressed to her back. They smoothed gently between her shoulderblades and along her spine, no lower than the small of her back; like he was reading—memorizing—her.

Date: 2019-09-21 05:23 am (UTC)
candor1: (R1 . Jyn . sudden feels 2)
From: [personal profile] candor1
His heart started thudding harder. He wanted to be safe for her, and let her feel as much. Just as he felt, and wanted it to be true, that she was for him.

I see you. I know you. Don't you?

"Maybe… it's okay… because we're both in that same ship. We both know how it works."

One of his hands lifted from her back, to alight tentatively higher up, on the back of her head. His fingertips just barely combed into her hair.

"I keep changing my mind," he said more quietly still. "What's worse. Losing things is painful. But never having at all is painful too. Maybe it's better to take things when you can. Maybe it changes every time.

"I don't know. …But I understand what you mean."

Date: 2019-09-22 03:18 am (UTC)
candor1: (Scarif . Jyn . that's it)
From: [personal profile] candor1
When we're dead?

"Should it stop?"

Though his arm did tighten a little, almost protectively, around her, as his lips traced the words softly into her hair.

"If it didn't hurt… what kind of people would we be?"

Date: 2019-09-22 04:03 am (UTC)
candor1: (Uwing . proceed with haste . down)
From: [personal profile] candor1
He had nothing to respond to that. Just bent his face again to her, the back of her head, the side of her neck, and closed his eyes there; as one hand pressed again into the small of her back, holding her against him, and his other hand swept gently under her hair, pushing it off the nape of her neck.

Date: 2019-09-22 04:50 am (UTC)
candor1: (illus . Jyn . hearts of kyber)
From: [personal profile] candor1
He wanted badly to kiss her. The curve of her neck where it flowed into her shoulder, the hinge of her jaw, her mouth. He momentarily considered asking her if he could. He pushed it aside. He would accept 'no' for an answer, but the very act of asking could change the tone of the night. Ruin the relaxation, the sense of safety, of sanctuary. Make it seem like he was less glad than he truly was just of this, as an end in itself. And he'd been too many peoples' one-night stands to risk turning that on her—was amazed at himself for even considering it, having thought he'd had any chance of enjoying such a thing long drained out of him.

She just fit so amazingly in his arms. They fit together like they'd been holding each other for years.

Risking the sensuousness of it, he moved his hand along her back, her waist, savoring the sweeping curves of her, the way they fit against him, how they felt in his palm. And breathed her in, scent marked from various outside influences, and the underlying essence that was just her. Filled his senses with her and felt… suffused… and peaceful.

Date: 2019-09-22 08:44 am (UTC)
candor1: (Yavin . couldn't face myself . smile)
From: [personal profile] candor1
He felt a pang of guilt—that he knew was not what she intended. Still, afraid because he might lose control in a dream again? Or… because…

When in doubt, don't assume; ask. "Why?"

Date: 2019-09-22 02:11 pm (UTC)
candor1: (illus . candid)
From: [personal profile] candor1
Ah…!

Another thing he understood perfectly.

So he hugged her tighter—so much for that resolution—then craned back his head, again, to look her in the eyes.

"I promise not to leave while you're asleep," he said. "I'm not going anywhere without talking to you.

"…If I even wake up first. Which I wouldn't put money on."

Date: 2019-09-23 03:30 am (UTC)
candor1: (Yavin . sit rm . smile . down)
From: [personal profile] candor1
I think maybe you do, too.

It was too presumptuous to say. So he just poured it into his arms around her.

What he did murmur aloud: "I don't want to sleep right away, again, either. I want to stay aware of… this. A bit longer."

Date: 2019-09-23 04:05 am (UTC)
candor1: (Uwing . proceed with haste . down)
From: [personal profile] candor1
He felt a stab of how dangerous this was. Not because he thought she was going to betray him. Not because of the looming pain of it ending. But because of what he was suddenly tempted to do so it wouldn't end; so this wouldn't be the only time. Tell her his real identity, his real story; see if she wanted to join him in it; give his up (for any amount of time) to join hers; any number of scenarios that involved giving away sensitive information and deprioritizing the Cause.

This was why he never had things like this. He would always choose service. Better and easier to never have anything to choose it over.

Too late for that, now. He felt it in his arms around her and chest against her and cheek upon her. He couldn't give this up until he had to. He'd fight himself off from trying to keep it, at least until morning, when he just had to take on faith he'd be able to walk away.

But ruling out talking and sleeping, both, and expending energy to do so, while still wanting connection, made it harder to resist trying a physical option…

Carefully, slowly, he brushed another kiss to the top of her head, amid her hair.

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