candor1: (illus . specfeat . Jedha)
From: [personal profile] candor1
One unexpected perk of having been given his own ship—one to use regularly and wouldn't be used by others in between—was its storage capacity. A small compartment, a sliding panel just above eye level, too small for significant cargo and too inconvenient for nav aids, became the dwelling of these relics of an unknown life.

A few things, he kept because he suspected they had nothing to do with her real character. (Like the lipstick.) For that reason, they amused him. The shoes were more precious, and never left that compartment. The hairpins… he'd taken one to fasten invisibly on his clothes, several times, for certain missions. The man who claimed not to be superstitious.

He was sitting alone in the cockpit, leaning back, watching the starlines, when he felt a molecule shift. He looked down, and there was the piece of paper that hadn't been there before.

He. The tooka had been a 'he'. That felt important, somehow, even though Cassian had never thought to assign it any of the five genders.

He couldn't quite bring himself to tell the whole truth. There was a higher truth, anyway.

(Written also on the same paper, neatly beneath the kohl contribution: )

I gave him to a little girl. He gave her comfort when she needed it badly. She kept him close the rest of the time I knew her.

You succeed!! <3

Date: 2019-09-03 02:27 am (UTC)
candor1: (Cadera . escapology . down)
From: [personal profile] candor1
…It was hard for him not to wrap everything and fly to Adarlon.

He'd almost forgotten what it was like to have an impulse. Much less to actually consider it.

When the note appeared, he'd been in the middle of a semi-clandestine meeting with a source. He simply snapped it up and stuffed it in his pocket without looking at it.

From that moment, though, he found—to his… some emotion—his objective wasn't really success of the mission anymore. It was getting enough closure to be able to go off on his own and read the note.

Can't we all. Yes. And he didn't know her, had no mental image of her, was only assuming it was a her (Cassian had had occasions to wear lipstick and hairpins himself), yet somehow got a mental image of them comforting each other. Sitting on the ledge of something leaning against each other's shoulders.

As usual, couldn't respond with anything of substance. Just wanted to keep the lines open.

He have a name?

Friend of mine had a great-aunt with four tookas. My friend got to name one of them. Their names wound up 'Taffy', 'Fluffy', 'Muffy', and 'AT-AV'.






[OOC: AT-AV = "All-Terrain Attack Vehicle". An EU detail of Princess Leia's childhood written by Barbara Hambly.]

<3 <3 <3!!

Date: 2019-09-05 01:58 am (UTC)
candor1: (Yavin . smile . I'm not used to)
From: [personal profile] candor1
Longer amounts of time had passed between messages or items before. There was no reason to assume it meant none would ever come again—that something terrible had happened.

So of course that was exactly what he assumed.

(Because that's how life in the universe goes. Right?)

When a note finally appeared, thank goodness he waited to read it until he was completely isolated, because he actually laughed aloud at her dryness. As much relief as amusement.

Would you believe 'Taffy'?
But Avie really was appropriate.


Some hesitation as well. …Then his first real detail.

I was on Lothal during the Blockade. I got stalked by a probe droid. So it wouldn't shoot me, I had to sit so still, for so long, that wild loth-cats came out of the grass, climbed onto me, and went to sleep.


There wasn't much anyone could learn from that. Maybe the vaguest little about his age, but hopefully nothing his handwriting and vocabulary would make surprising. Not really his present location, if one assumed that he'd been on more than one planet—though that itself was information. It's not like his assignment had been documented in any way that could be searched for on the 'net, so it didn't point to the Rebellion. Nor did being antagonistic with a probe droid necessarily dictate loyalties… it just suggested.

He kept it in anyway.

…because, wise or not, his craving for contact, for recognition, was only getting sharper.

Because the answer to her last question was—

All the time

Date: 2019-09-05 04:22 am (UTC)
candor1: (Eadu . i can't . down)
From: [personal profile] candor1
* * *


It wasn't Cassian's first time on Jelucan. Not by a long shot.

Recruiting what Command only knew as "The Jelucan Source" had been Cassian's first major accomplishment as Fulcrum, vindicating Draven's appointment of him to the post. That source being a Human Cassian only knew as "Farir", and who only knew Cassian as "Willix"; Farir being a high-profile escort whose agency tended to cater to grounded Imperials who (naturally) couldn't get enough, while on leave, of the things they decried and punished others for. Bringing Farir to the cause meant having a direct line to extremely… well… sensitive intel.

It also meant that when Command reluctantly concluded that Cassian needed raven training, as another weapon in his belt, they knew who to ask for it.

Yes, Cassian had been on Jelucan many times.

…Even before, though—when it had been his first time—it had never felt it. He knew Jelucan's past in the CIS. He knew the Separatist who'd saved him from the Caridan riots and brought him to the CIS had come here regularly. Though he'd never accompanied her (he'd been a child), he felt himself, while there, to be walking in her footsteps. Following her ghost.

Jelucan had changed since the Separatist Crisis, and didn't seem poised to stop changing. It was getting more industrial and polluted all the time—more, indeed, like child Separatist soldier Cassian's home, at the time, of Sullust.

In Jelucan's capital, Valentia, at least, the vitals remained the same. First- and Second-Wavers side-eyed each other and never mixed except on the street and in certain bars, to which they may have gone as much to pick fights with each other as to drink.

Cassian wouldn't have picked one of them to meet in, but it was where the contact had insisted when Farir set up the meeting for them.

So here he was, nursing a drink, using the tricks he'd developed over the years to seem to be partaking more than he actually was. Cassian hated intoxicants. Not just because he tended to know or guessed the exploitation and violence behind almost all of them, but because he'd never, not on any drug, experienced anything but a really bad trip. Relaxants just lowered the shields, the partitions, on his mind, letting everything cascade in ever-mixing torrents, leaving him so cognitively overloaded it rendered him nonverbal and almost paralyzed. (Plus sobering up feeling like the flu.) Stimulants heightened his already amplified situational awareness, over-sensitivity to detail, and raised his wariness to paranoia, so the merest movements of anything anywhere within his full range of senses had him jumping and crawling out of his own skin. Hallucinogens… he didn't even want to imagine. The slightest bit he hadn't managed to get out of once, for a cover identity, had him seeing all the living beings around him as animate rotting corpses, sporting the kinds of injuries he'd inflicted on assassination targets over the years. Some, made into people he knew and cared about.

Those few experiences were more than enough to never seek any further high.

The problem was, when he was undercover, and his cover identity would not shy away. And/or when he was with the kind of company who would never deal with or remotely trust him if he didn't indulge exactly as much as they did. Again, he had tricks, but how much they worked depended more on the other party than on his own techniques.

This group (—which, also, hadn't been supposed to be a group, but no helping that now) were really plying him. In fact, he suspected that even the drugs he was taking on purpose had been additionally drugged. Between who he was supposed to be and needing to particularly ingratiate himself, it was impressive enough he'd held back as much as he already had. Which was already far more influenced than he usually allowed.

He didn't realize quite how high (compromised) he actually was, though… until they suggested the group relocate to a back room. And he got up a little unsteady on his feet…

…which, barely through the curtained doorway, were suddenly kicked out from under him. His wrists were grabbed, his head pulled back by the hair, his body slammed and pinned against a bar, face shoved down onto it, his feet kicked apart… and one of them pulled his blaster from his belt, but then grabbed the belt itself…

…go figure… he had, after all, had every other sort of sexual experience on this forsaken planet…

He knew the more he struggled, the harder they'd… deal with him… He'd been submitted to a lot before… But right now, he wanted to beg for help. Call someone to save him from what was about to happen.

Date: 2019-09-05 05:24 am (UTC)
candor1: (Scarif . tower . keep going)
From: [personal profile] candor1
…They let him go.

It made no sense. He was at their mercy. Any pretense at negotiation was unsalvageable. Why on Hoth would they…?

As the hands on his wrists and arms, waist and hair and neck, all withdrew, Cassian's legs buckled and he grabbed onto the bar for dear life; keeping himself from crumpling to the ground. He closed his eyes, pressed them to the cooler surface than the room, and willed the planet to stop trying to spin him off it.

Then he had the wherewithal, keeping one arm tightly over the bar, to turn and look over one shoulder.

Between being drugged and his brand spanking new head injury from being slammed onto the bar (and possibly a broken rib, ditto, but that was less influential on his visual perception), lights were sparking like a migraine and movement ribboned out in time-lapse continuity.

But he thought he saw a small figure—shockingly small—dashing and whirling in the midst of the group who shedded off, fell, one by one around it.

He may not be able to do much, but there must be something he could do.

His hand went to the belt (they'd managed to undo but not remove it) and its now-empty holster. He squinted again at the… combat? must be… and decided. He let go of the bar and let himself fall, sinking unceremoniously onto the floor. But the floor was more to hang onto than the bar had been. So, on hands and knees, he crawled forward, until his hands hit the prone body of one of the now-unconscious gang. Going by feel more than sight, he located the Human's blaster, to replace the one they'd taken.

And, staring intensely until he'd absolutely confirmed who was who, and where he was aiming, he fired.

The last gang member standing let out a howl and clutched his leg where the shot had hit—so doing, dropping the knife he'd been about to throw at Cassian's unknown, small savior.

Date: 2019-09-05 09:31 am (UTC)
candor1: (R1 . Jyn . sudden feels)
From: [personal profile] candor1
You can trust me.

…Had it all been a set-up? Never about making a deal, but about putting him in a position to be rescued. To trust or consider himself in debt. Was he known or important enough for anyone to have bothered? What was there to be gained? Why would that work better than its premise would? Did he really think this batch ready to be so subtle or complicated?

Real or not real, he was in better shape (—no matter being in such bad shape) to salvage something from this by going with her now; rather than, as she pointed out, waiting for the authorities to get involved.

He reached back to her offered hand. He clapped his hand into hers. And accepted her help pulling himself to his feet.

You can trust me.

Right.

Still, wouldn't hurt to seem to. Go for it. Take the bait.

…And if by some chance it wasn't… accept the miracle.

His forward momentum didn't stop where he wanted it to; he got off the ground, all right, but then overbalanced forward and had to be caught. Then supported by her getting out.




Edited Date: 2019-09-05 10:54 am (UTC)

Date: 2019-09-08 04:23 am (UTC)
candor1: (Eadu . you are sure of that? . down)
From: [personal profile] candor1
"Sorry," he said, and was… (upset? enraged? embarrassed?) …aggravated at how slurred he sounded in two syllables. Ugh… he'd known but not managed to avoid…

He threw more power from shields to navigation; focusing intently on staying on his own two feet and leaning a little less on her, and following whatever direction she set.

"You know who they were?" he said softly. Knowing it was a stupid question, he was unlikely to get a real answer… but staying talking might help with focus, and her answer, truthful or not, might be informative anyway.

Date: 2019-09-08 05:21 am (UTC)
candor1: (Yavin . Jyn . down)
From: [personal profile] candor1
"Self-preserving?" he said softly. Without malice, bitterness, or judgment for the kind of person who would be. "Not anyone's fault that… not everyone should have to…" The thoughts circled in on themselves and left him dizzy. He shook his head, closed his eyes, and focused on staying on his feet.

"Where are we going?" he said at last, instead. Stick with the immediate and concrete.

Date: 2019-09-08 05:36 am (UTC)
candor1: (Yavin . crate)
From: [personal profile] candor1
"I know." And he did, somehow. …Or at least, the part of his brain that had to rationalize went ahead with, he'd behave as if he did.

But…

"Why are you helping me?" he asked, still softly, still damnably slurred; with an acuity, a tension, nevertheless.

Even though, in the same way he knew the other, he knew this too; he didn't need to ask. That single word—complacent—had given him everything he needed. They were alike, at least in this: not everyone should have to give themselves up, for the sake of others. Which was why they did.

Date: 2019-09-08 05:52 am (UTC)
candor1: (Yavin . shadow)
From: [personal profile] candor1
His exhalation might read as a laugh. But it wasn't one. "Okay."

The right thing to do. Versus the easy thing. Versus the complacent or self-preserving thing. Versus even the right move. Versus…

"Okay," again, more softly, then he had to stop talking and focus on staying conscious. He couldn't stop it. He could only delay it. Until they got to somewhere where he could properly collapse.

Date: 2019-09-08 06:14 am (UTC)
candor1: (Yavin . smile . I'm not used to)
From: [personal profile] candor1
You're doing great. This exhalation was a laugh. "Don't start lying to me now. I wanna trust you."

…Which was, in turn… more true than he'd even meant to be.

Date: 2019-09-08 06:34 am (UTC)
candor1: (NiJedha . you can't take them away. down)
From: [personal profile] candor1
"Rilio," he answered, just as smooth and blank. It was the name on the arrivals roster. His hand momentarily gripped her shoulder as he stumbled and made sure not to fall. He released her just as quickly, as if appalled he may have bruised her. "Is that it?" Not hiding a hint of pleading in his voice. Not much further.

Date: 2019-09-08 06:56 am (UTC)
candor1: (Uwing . proceed with haste . down)
From: [personal profile] candor1
Was there an alternative? "Yeah," he said. Not actually sure but stubborn enough to make sure. He'd had to tackle worse, while in worse shape, unaided.

He'd noticed the inhalation and almost wanted to let go of her entirely. He was hurting her somehow. …Of course, for all she'd utterly demolished the gang, they'd probably gotten a few hits in. But she'd chosen to help him, it wasn't his call to what extent she opted in, and he suspected that she was probably stubborn, too, and his resisting that would just be a waste of both of their time.

Still, he tried extra hard to carry more of his own weight the rest of the way and up the staircase.

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-08 07:23 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-08 07:39 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-09 07:11 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-09 08:44 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-10 10:35 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-11 03:55 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-11 04:47 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-11 05:28 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-11 06:19 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-11 06:40 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-11 07:04 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-11 07:50 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-11 08:11 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-12 12:57 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-14 04:46 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-14 11:55 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-15 03:26 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-15 04:11 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-15 04:57 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-15 05:36 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-15 11:33 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-16 02:55 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-16 03:27 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-16 04:19 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-16 04:47 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-16 05:06 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-16 05:26 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-16 05:56 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-16 06:20 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-16 06:52 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-18 06:46 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-21 05:23 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-22 03:18 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-22 04:03 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-22 04:50 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-22 08:44 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-22 02:11 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-23 03:30 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-23 04:05 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-24 10:42 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-25 04:37 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-25 05:19 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-09-26 05:05 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-10-06 04:19 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-10-07 05:15 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-10-07 05:59 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-10-12 06:18 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-10-14 05:25 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-10-14 05:44 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-10-18 06:28 am (UTC) - Expand

A ZILLION YEARS LATER…

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-11-01 10:37 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-11-10 12:17 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-11-22 05:20 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-11-24 07:01 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-11-24 08:18 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-11-25 05:43 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-11-26 05:09 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-11-27 08:38 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-11-30 04:20 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-11-30 04:44 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-12-02 07:15 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-12-04 05:26 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-12-04 07:05 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-12-09 01:04 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-12-12 06:01 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-12-12 07:43 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-12-19 09:23 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2019-12-29 08:47 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2020-01-15 09:11 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] candor1 - Date: 2020-02-02 09:50 am (UTC) - Expand

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Profile

wherehopegoes: (Default)
Jyn Erso

Style Credit

Page generated Jun. 8th, 2025 01:28 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios
January 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 2023
OSZAR »